This is the second part of a 3-part Christmas story. Click here for Part I
Home for vacation, he had watched a movie with his father. In the course of the movie, a certain gay black man had entered in on a scene and gone down on another man. Earlier on in the movie, Denzel’s father had dozed, but he awoke during the scene. When he rubbed his eyes and saw what was showing and had looked at his son and perceived that he enjoyed it, the old man had gone haywire. He had babbled in a tongue unknown to man, his face full of disdain and hate for what he had seen. When he calmed down, he asked his son. “Denzel. What is wrong with you? What were you watching?” Denzel who had recovered before his father did, lied smoothly. How well his father believed him was a great determinant for the futures of both father and son. “Da, I wasn’t watching it. My mind wasn’t there.” “But. But, why were you smiling? What was that look I saw on your face?” “I was remembering something that had happened in school. Ah! Da, if I had seen it, I would have turned it off.” He raised both hands in an act to communicate, you’re-unbelievable-dad, acting disgusted that his father could even bring himself to think that he had actually been watching the scene. His father, who was still not convinced and still laboured in breathing as he was yet to fully recover from his fright asked his son, “Kwasi (this was the name they had called Denzel at home since childhood), are you sure?” “Da. But, how can you even ask me this?” His father believed him; this was all he could do. Even harbouring the thought of his son actually relishing the scene was apt to give him a heart attack.
Denzel had remained frightened the rest of the day. His dad never spoke much and never seen his father act so scared and repulsed as he had that day. He woke up the following day from a nightmare. In the dream, his father had a heart attack and died when he discovered that his son was a homosexual. Starting from that morning, he was struck by a fever which lasted two weeks. By the time his fever died, he made himself a new promise; his gay days were over. He would do this for his father, if not for God’s sake, he would for his father’s. That was when his battles had begun. It was as if the homosexuality had a mind of its own. He had grown himself into a homosexual without actually being aware of it. How do you rewire an unconscious part of you after you have wired it unconsciously? Determined, Denzel hungrily surfed the internet, looking for what means, if there were, that a person needed to go through to change a homosexual lifestyle. He consumed volumes of data, did research day and night. The more he worked it, the more he realized the kind of trouble he had gotten himself mixed up with. It was an interwoven complex of madness; an almost hopeless venture. He decided that if he couldn’t change it, he would abstain. He made himself go through and write down all the triggers of his homosexual tendencies. He ended his sexual relationship with Kojo. That was difficult. Even thinking about Kojo alone, gunned his urges. But after all these, he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he felt it still, his attraction to men. He had come to the Christmas carols service almost crying that night. A wave of loneliness which swept over him for five continuous days had almost done him in, and he would have given in, called Kojo and entered back into what he had classified as his most ‘dangerous garbage,’ had it not been for his father who had called him to ask how he was doing. It made him remember why he went down the road in the first place.
Click here for Part III